Rant of the Day

Rant of the Day: IPhone 7

What does Apple hang its hat on as a brand? From Ashton Kutcher to Michael Fassbender, all the movies have Steve Jobs quoted as saying the same thing: Apple products are supposed to be user friendly. The whole company is built on the principle that you should pick Apple because it is more intuitive than the other guys. So why did they give me a phone without a damn headphone jack?

It’s been about 6 months since I purchased an IPhone 7 and I still become enraged with it almost daily. I get that the trend is going towards Bluetooth headphones and they do give you that stupid little adapter but it still annoys me. Too many times I have been in a friend’s car, they pass me the aux so I can play some fire jams and I come to the sad realization that it is an impossibility.

And I get that I could bring that adapter everywhere I go. That would certainly solve my problems. But I shouldn’t have to because that is COUNTERintuitive. You know, the exact opposite of everything the brand is supposed to stand for. I mean what if I wanted to listen to music and say charge my phone at the same time. That has been a pretty simple capability going back 15 years to the creation of the IPod. They must have missed that in that in the years of R&D they do.

But what am I supposed to do? I can’t just switch phones. You have to buy an iPhone if you want to do pretty much anything. Apple has such clout that they monopolize the market for apps and other functions forcing you to use their products. Plus some of the greatest games in the history of mobile devices have been on the App Store. Doodle Jump, Temple Run, Flappy Bird, and so many others. Oh and they even have their own text messaging platform to alienate anyone without an iPhone. Like my ex girlfriend they are masters at trapping you into something you don’t want to do.

Then once you buy the iPhone, you can only keep it for a year until the new one comes out which you also have to buy. Why? Because it has the updated operating system. You need the new operating system because the apps update and won’t run on your current phone rendering it obsolete. It’s a sinister cycle they have created.

We didn’t have these types of problems when Steve Jobs was alive. I mean the guy was still a huge price gouger but he was sneaky about it. He at least tried to pretend to care about consumer concerns. Nowadays Apple is just blatantly giving us the middle finger because they know people like me are going to buy their products anyways. I don’t want to have to play knock off games like Floppy Pigeon and Jungle Runner. I don’t want to be left out of my friends group chats. So I will continue to take their shit for years to come.

Apple execs, if any of you happen to read this just hear me out. I don’t mind being screwed. I get that it’s what you’re good at. Just in the future try to be a little bit more subtle about it. That’s all I ask.

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